I told you I would forget about this thing!

Yep, it says it right there on the tin. I told you before that I would forget about this whole thing in two weeks.

Actually, what really happened was: STUFF. And a LOT of it. I mean, it was just this endless stream of stuff. The introduction, my board stuff, first week of school (actually, I feel lazy when it comes to that). Further, I guess being on the board of a role-playing society really is a lot of work. I partially blame this on us, the board that is, for being new at the whole governing 75 people thing, but also partially on the role-players themselves. When you have a hobby that quite often relies on reading the rules as they are written, this kind of creates a certain way of thinking. So basically, we just have too many rules lawyers ;)

On the other hand, rules are nice, they make things clear. (Un)fortunately the hobby doesn't entirely rely on rules. And neither does being on a board. The rules are there to guide you through the situations, and the situations are there to guide you through the rules. If that makes sense in any way.

Sometimes it would be nice if the rules as written would suffice. Any game would be an awesome game if you could just read these rules, and any decision made by you as a board member would be accepted by everyone. BUT, it would also result in situations where the game would be predictable, or the justice enacted by the rules as written would be unfair towards the members of the society.

Then again, the no rules scenario seems less forable to me. Sometimes this scenario leads to awesome things. During the introduction week I ran several sessions for random first year students that came to visit us during a day where they were introduced to the different culture societies. THE MOST RANDOM things just happened. It was like watching an Old Spice commercial. Non sequitor on top of non sequitor. In some of the other games...less ideal stuff happened; people were bored, were ruining the game for others or it was hard to come up with something exciting. And don't even start with me on what would happen if there were no rules in a student society.

What I am trying to say I guess, it is hard to find that sweet spot between rules and no rules, and then add your own X-factor on top of that. If you can find that X-factor and find the balance, it means that you are in an awesome place where great things happen. Or at least, that is my personal view on things.

And the way I feel right now, both as a role-player trying to run games and as a board member trying to run a society, is that it is hard to find that specific spot. But isn't that what live does to people all the time? It is partially about trying to find the sweet spot, and then adding the X-factor. Unfortunately, there is always a chance to be brought off balance. And I kind of believe is that this is what is taking me by surprise. It sure is exciting, because I have no idea where I will find my next "sweet spot", but on the other hand, it is scary as fuck.

What else was scary was my first one-shot in years. Tonight I ran my first game in err I don’t know, THREE YEARS. I only ran a few sessions before, and this was for this group of Gameforce gamers (no offense, if any of you Gameforce people read this, but it wasn't a fun game, try rerolling your character every 2 sessions for a few months in a row). But I actually ran a friggin GURPS session, a system that I have only played for a few sessions myself. Looking back at that, that is an amazing accomplishment. I managed (together with the help of two experienced GURPS game masters) to tell people a somewhat mildly amusing story. Sure, it was clunky, yes people were left behind at some points, and I messed up. But I managed to run this mildly entertaining game with basically 8 session’s worth of GURPS experience, in a different setting as experience to go from. As one of the players said, it wasn't bad. Yet it doesn't feel so to me. I see so many errors that I made; I lost half my story, made the game drag along at points and I think it is kind of a pity that one of the players that I like as a person was a disappointment as a role-player (but she often says so herself, so I was warned). But I think one of the reasons why I criticize my own game, and maybe also why I also worry about my board membership, is because I haven't found my sweet spot for either, let stand a lone my X-factor.

Or I maybe, I am slowly discovering them, and I just don't see it yet myself. (Damn self-criticism) There is a reason why people like the stuff I do as a board member, and why everyone in my game enjoyed his or her time.